Gue belajar nyetir mobil pertama kali sekitar SMA kelas 2 atau 3.. Itupun bukan kemauan gue sendiri. Cuma kebetulan sepupu gue pengen belajar nyetir dan ngajak gue untuk nemenin. Berhubung dibayarin les nyetir, gue sih ayuk aja..
Beberapa minggu kemudian akhirnya gue lulus dengan IPK 1.69 untuk nyetir belok kiri dan IPK 2.31 untuk nyetir belok kanan.
"Susah! Ujung kiri-nya gak keliatan..!!", kalo ditanya soal nilai yang timpang sama nyokap.
So, berbekal ijasah nyetir yang dilegalisir, akhirnya gue bikin SIM. Walau pake calo, setelah seharian baru SIM-nya jadi, lengkap dengan foto gue yang lagi tersenyum manis manja, yang sempet bikin bapak petugasnya njedotin kepalanya ke tembok.
Tapi walaupun gue udah pernah ikut kursus nyetir dan dah punya SIM, tetep aja gue agak2 takut dan kagok kalo pas bawa mobil. Untungnya mobil gue (ralat: mobil bokap-nyokap gue) saat itu adalah Daihatsu Feroza. Dengan bentuk jeep yang tinggi dan gede, gue lumayan berani mbawanya. "Body gede begini, pasti aman kalo tabrakan sama Kopaja"; pikiran polos gue saat itu. Tapi tetep, gue cuma berani bawa sesekali aja.. Bisa dihitung pake tangan lah.
Waktu itu temen2 gue lagi pada nginep di rumah gue dan malem2 mereka pada merengek nyari makan di sekitar rumah. Ya udah, setelah mobil gue keluarin dari garasi, temen2 gue pada masuk. Pas gue mo nge-gas, salah satu temen gue tuba2 ngajak ber-doa dulu.. Dan temen2 yang lain ngangguk-angguk tanda setuju.. Kampret! Pada gak ada yang percaya ma gue! Tapi akhirnya gue juga ikutan berdoa; "Duh gusti, berikanlah hamba kekuatan untuk menempeleng semua teman2 hamba yang durhaka ini.. Berilah hamba petunjuk ketika tidak bisa menentukan apakah mau ngepruk kepala mereka pake ciduk atau panci.. Berilah hamba kekuatan agar hamba gak masuk angin kena angin malam.. amiiieeeeennn..". And off we go..!!!
Daerah yang kita lewatin itu dah sering banget dilewatin, boleh dibilang gue hapal banget daerah itu. Tapi ternyata dengan modal ijasah kursus nyetir dilegalisir rangkap dua yang terpajang indah diatas kulkas dan SIM yang masih bau laminating didompet, tetep gak bisa menghilangkan kegugupan gue pas nyetir. Dan anehnya kalo lagi gugup, gue itu selalu jadi pelupa. Sepanjang perjalanan itu, gue yang ribut sendiri;
"Eh, belokannya dimana yah?" (padahal belokannya masih jauh)...
"Woi, abis ini belok kiri kan yah?" (Padahal tiap hari lewat situ)..
"Eh, kok belok sih? Perasaan masih jauh.. (Padahal nunggu angkot tiap hari disitu)...
Parah!
Ternyata selain jadi pelupa, kalo gugup gue juga jadi sensitif.. Pas temen gue mo nyetel radio, langsung gue cegah.. "Jangan! Ntar gue gak konsen nyetirnya! Kalo tiba2 ada lagu dangdut trus mata gue otomatis merem dan jempol gue goyang2, gimana coba!?!?".. Pas temen gue di bangku belakang pada ngobrol, "Woi! Jangan berisik! Gue gak bisa denger kalo ada mobil nglakson nih!".. Pas temen gue kentut, "Kampret! Bosen hidup lo?!?!?"...
Gue nyetir, keringet dingin, ribut nanya2 dan pada saat yang bersamaan ribut marah2.. Bayangin aja betapa bingungnya temen2 gue..
Tapi pada akhirnya semua berjalan dan berakhir baik.... sampai suatu ketika.....
Di sore yang cerah, gue lagi gantiin nyokap gue nyetir.. Pas ditikungan tajam deket rumah, ada vespa dari arah yang berlawanan. Berhubung IPK gue untuk belok kiri cuma 1.69, gue ngambil beloknya terlalu lebar maka terjadilah kecelakaan kecil: Vespa-nya kesenggol dan kecebur got! Gue antara panik, takut, lucu.. Semua campur jadi satu. Dan gue gak tahan untuk gak tersenyum waktu turun dari mobil dan ketemu orang sial yang kecebur itu. Setelah di bayar 20ribu ma nyokap untuk ganti rugi vespa yang sedikit penyok (Di dompet cuma tinggal selembar itu doank), akhirnya nyokap nyuruh gue masuk ke mobil.. tapi ke sisi penumpang..
Nyokap langsung masuk dan nyetir, nge-gas kayak orang kesurupan.. di mobil marah2; "Goblog!! Kamu gimana sih!", "Pake donk otak kamu! Gitu aja gak bisa!".. dan kata2 amukan lainnya... Belum pernah gue setakut itu sebelumnya.. Hmm.. sebelumnya pernah sih.. tapi ini setelah sekian lama gue gak dimarahin kayak gitu lagi.. Gue bener2 shock abieezz diomelin kayak gitu.. Mental gue langsung hancur berkeping2, kayak dibanting trus diinjek-injek, trus di giles pake traktor, trus di blender, trus di ayak, trus di buang ke lautan.. Lengkap sudah...
Semenjak hari itu sampe sekarang, gue gak pernah nyetir lagi... Gue selalu nolak kalo disuruh nyetir.. Kalo ada yang nanya, gue bilang gak bisa nyetir.. Bahkan SIM gue dah beberapa tahun yang lalu kadaluarsa dan gak akan gue perpanjang/bikin lagi.. Gue bener2 trauma.. Trauma bukan karena tabrakannya, tapi karena omelan nyokap.. Aneh kan? Tapi ya itu yang gue alamin..
Nah, trus apa hubungannya antara "gak bisa nyetir" dengan "pejabat in training"?
Jadiii... setiap gue ditanya "Kenapa gak nyetir?", gue selalu menjawab:
"Kan gue lagi latihan jadi pejabat. Coba lihat, mana ada pejabat yang nyetir sendiri.. Semua pasti disetirin ma sopir. Nah, makanya gue berlatih semenjak dini biar gue siap waktu disetirin pas jadi pejabat... Susah, loh.. menjadi pejabat yang disetirin... Auranya harus pas..".
Bener2 bullshit kelas king-kong... hehe.. Tapi serius loh, gue kalo ditanya selalu jawab itu.. Blom kepikiran alasan lain yang lebih menarik. Ada usul?
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bubba wrote:
horeee... posting lagiiii!!! <--- jeritan orang sakaw :(
bubba wrote:
eh, iya usul... sampe lupa :) jadi gini, analysis saya adalah selama ini kendaraan anda yang sulit dibelokkan. terlihat dari ujung kiri yang sulit terlihat. oleh karena itu disarankan untuk nyetir kendaraan yang tidak perlu belok, contohnya kereta api, kapal terbang dan kapal laut... oke?
ZeAL wrote:
Hmm.. ide pertamanya sih, setir-nya yang dipindah ke kiri.. Tapi ntar gantian, belok kanan yang susah..
Wah, ide-nya briliant sekali, tapi kapal terbang dan kapal laut itu tetep kudu belok.. Nah, yang kereta api bisa diterima..
Gue lg kepikiran nyetir bajaj, soalnya setirnya ada di tengah.. Pas tuh buat belok kiri atau kanan... Tapi ada gak yah pejabat nyetir bajaj..??
emyou wrote:
Eselon satu-ku yang sekarang nyetir sendiri tuh Nyet :P
Ooo jadi gitu toh ceritanya.. Baru tau. Tus kalo soal kamu gak bisa berenang Itu juga gara2 ada pengalaman traumatis ato gimana?? Ceritain dong...
Senengnya sekali tengok blogmu lagi uda ada banyak postingan menanti :D
bubba wrote:
iya, kapal terbang dan kapal laut emang kudu belok, tapi kan ngga boleh buru-buru, jadi masih ada waktu buat anda untuk melihat kanan dan kiri sebelum membulatkan tekad untuk belok...
anyway, trainingnya udah sampe mana? tahukah anda kalau pejabat tidak boleh menutup sendiri pintu mobilnya? latihan di kopaja dan mikrolet sudah merupakan jalan yang benar...
ZeAL wrote:
@emyou:
Kalo soal gak bisa berenang itu sih emang dasar kodrat alam.. Pernah liat monyet berenang? aku rasa tidak... hehe..
@bubba:
Hmm.. ya iya sih.. Cuma masih bingung, pas pake pesawat gak nemu tombol buat lampu sen-nya.. Jadi kayaknya perlu ngasih tanda belok pake tangan...
Trainingnya masih menampilkan muka yang tenang dan bersahaja walau mobil digeber 100km/jam di dalam kota.. Sayangnya gue masih suka panik..
Mohon dukungannya...!!
teeweeq wrote:
Tadinya gw mau protes kenapa lu segitu traumanya gak mau nyetir 'cuma' gara-gara nabrak vespa tu,soalnya gw terakhir nyetir juga tabrak menabrak ma motor, malah yg gw tabrak mpe harus dibawa ke RS plus nambal cat mobil bokap biar bokap gak tahu, tp gw tetep aja gak trauma hehe.
Cuma kalo trauma mental di marah2in siih..hmmmm.. apalagi ma nyokap gw understand dah, pasti sangat membekassssss.
(Pantes waktu yg ke dufan waktu itu cuma mau nyedian boil-nya doank, tapi thanx dah ^_^)
ZeAL wrote:
untung waktu itu disediain mobilnya lengkap, coba kalo cuma gue sediain pentil-nya doank.. hayoo...
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pass4sure 640-816 wrote:
jadi gini, assay saya adalah selama ini kendaraan anda yang sulit dibelokkan. terlihat dari ujung kiri yang sulit terlihat.
pass4sure 70-271 wrote:
Hmm.. ide pertamanya sih, setir-nya yang dipindah ke kiri.. Tapi ntar gantian, belok kanan yang susah..
pass4sure 1Y0-A05 wrote:
Gue lg kepikiran nyetir bajaj, soalnya setirnya ada di tengah.. Pas tuh buat belok kiri atau kanan... Tapi ada gak yah pejabat nyetir bajaj..??
pass4sure 70-432 wrote:
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