Adek gue yang paling kecil baru aja masuk kuliah di UNJ dan entah karena alasan apa, dia gak kena masa orientasi. Kali ini gue mo cerita pengalaman orientasi gue dulu pas SMU. Versi Kuliah bakal gue tulis di post yang berbeda. (Sabar, yah..)
Gue dulu sekolah di SMU 55, duren tiga - Jakarta Selatan. Pokoknya gak jauh dari markasnya Slank di daerah potlot. Bahkan saking deketnya, gue sering ngeliat si kaka keluar pager pake celana kolor doank.. Sayang, dia bukan selera gue..
So, gue masuk pertama kali disana masih pake seragam putih-biru.. Masih suka ileran.. Tugas pada hari pertama adalah mengenal nama orang/teman yang duduk di sebelah.. Jelas, 1 kelas sibuk nanya kiri-kanan untuk nyebutin namanya. Gue yang punya penyakit otak sehingga gak bisa mengingat nama & wajah dengan benar dan cepat, bener2 ngalamin kesulitan. Jadi kadang gue suka pake sedikit trik. Gue suka mencampurkan ciri khas mukanya dengan namanya..
"Owww... orang yang mukanya kayak babi ini, namanya si budi..... babi... babi... badi... bubi... budi... budi.. inget... babi.. budi..".
And it works! Cuma repotnya kadang pas nginget2 gitu, mulut gue suka kelepasan ngomong kenceng.. "budi.. babi!"
Hasilnya? Sampe sekarang gue gak punya banyak temen...
Hari berikutnya masa orientasi, gue diajarin sebuah lagu lengkap dengan jogetnya.. biasalah.. standar..
Tapi tetep, lagu itu meninggalkan luka yang cukup dalam di hati gue.. itulah sebabnya kenapa gue "kayaknya" masih hapal lagu itu sampai sekarang..
Judul lagunya: Kona Chicken... (Jangan ditambah huruf lagi!)
Kona Chicken by Siswa Bejad SMU 55
Kona chicken...
Kona chicken..
Dance so fine...
Ohhh.. Kona mine..
Kwek.. kwek.. Little bit..
Kwek.. kwek.. Little bit..
Ohhh.. Kona mine..
** Entah yang ngarang lagu ini asalnya dari planet mana. Tapi yang pasti, disana ayam suaranya kwek.. kwek.... **
Dan lagu ini diiringi oleh gerakan2 najis.. macam goyang2 pinggul.. tangan kedepan dengan jari ngatup-buka kayak lagi nowel-nowel.. Gerakan berputar macam balerina.. dan sejenisnya.. Otak gue terlalu rusak untuk bisa mengingatnya..
Untungnya karena sifat gue yang low profile dan posisi gue yang ada di kolong meja, gue sangat jarang sekali ditunjuk kedepan untuk joget2 kesurupan..
Masa orientasi berlangsung selama 6 hari... Dan selama masa itu, gue harus mengumpulkan tanda tangan para pengurus osis dan para guru... Gue dikasih buku khusus untuk itu.. Desas-desusnya, bagi yang berhasil mengumpulkan seluruh tanda tangan tersebut akan diberi hadiah berupa seperangkat alat sholat.. Ya, agar kita bertobat dan Tuhan YME mengampuni dosa kami yang sudah melakukan tarian Kona Chicken...
Nah, berhubung orang2 pada berlomba2, gue jadi gak enak juga.. Gue kan kudu mengikuti tren yang sedang berkembang saat itu.. Jangan sampe gue dibilang anak ketinggalan jaman.. Tapi gue terlalu males untuk minta2 tanda tangan gituh.. Sok penting banget! Emangnya mereka seleb.. So, akhirnya gue cuek aja gak ikutan ngumpulin tanda tangan...
Masalah muncul waktu para pengurus osis itu pengen ngecek buku2 tanda tangan... Gue kelabakan kayak monyet kebakaran ketek.. Akhirnya gue pinjem buku temen2 gue yang udah pada dapet banyak tanda tangan..
"Bi.. eh.. Bud.. pinjem bukunya donk..", kata mahluk nampan-rupawan-bakwan: GUE
"Mo buat apaan?" , kata si babi.. eh.. budi..
"Mo buat tatakan pantat...."
Setelah meyakinkan si budi kalo gue cuma bercanda, akhirnya gue dipinjemin juga..
Dan disinilah, kelas 1 SMU.. Gue yang masih polos, tak bersalah, suci dan tak ternoda, terprovokasi untuk melakukan hal yang tak terpuji kecuali kepepet: MEMALSUKAN TANDA TANGAN! Yup.. otak gue yang cerdas, saat itu gue sudah mampu memalsukan tanda tangan..
Dari hasil pemalsuan tersebut, gue bisa ngisi setengah buku dengan tanda tangan... Manthab!
** Tehnik memalsukan tanda tangan tersebut sangat membantu gue di berbagai bidang hingga saat ini!
Secara garis besar, gue selamat melewati masa orientasi SMU.. paling tidak, selamat secara fisik.. walau bukan secara moral...
Ok, sampai sini dulu... Gue dah keringetan nih, ngetik..
Post berikutnya bakal gue ceritain masa orientasi versi Universitas... Hmmm.. Atau mungkin masa orientasi versi SMU part II...
Yah, pokoknya tunggu aja...
Dheeeee....
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pha wrote:
jadi penasaran.. apa kata or bentuk yang kamu pake buat ngepasin muka ama namaku huahahahahha....
kalo priska??
kalo tiwi??
ZeAL wrote:
kalo kamu agak sedikit beda kondisinya.. Kenal via chat & dengan bantuan FS, aku punya cukup banyak waktu untuk menghafalkan nama dan muka mu sebelum kita bener2 ketemu..
Kalo priska..
Hmm.. kok aku lupa yah pertama kenal si priska... Piz, kita pertama kenal dimana dan ngapain ya...?
Kalo tiwi...
Maxi... maxi... kebalikannya.. mini.. mini... miwi.. miwi... tiwi... TIWI!
Simpel kan...??
piz wrote:
ahahakakakkakakak.....
kebayang cupu-nya dirimuh.....
budi...budi...malangnya kaw....
hmm....bagus! gerakan cuci otakku terhadap korban2ku akhirnya ada yg menampakkan hasilnya!
jadi begini dik wicay -huekkkks, ngaku deh pasti ada yg manggil ni monyet dengan sebutan wicak cayang!-...
kita kenal pertama di chatroom apa itu yah dulu yg akhirnya gulung tikar itu? yg sering dipromoin di milis tapi yg dateng cuma gw, elu, andri, tiwi, anne, arief, bhima, sesekali orang2 gak penting yg gak meninggalkan jejak. dan akhirnya sekumpulan orang cerdas cemerlang ini mempunyai ide untuk meet and greet! jadilah acara ke dupan ituh! huahahahahhah...di depan it-which-must-not-be-named lah pertama kalinya kita bertemu resmi...dan seharian itu dirimu membuatku keselek-keselek, yeah...you know what's the reason!
hihihihihihi....satu postingan sendiri! trackback!
teeweeq wrote:
Hahaha, kok serasa ada reunian besar2an disini. Gak sopan km ni piz pake2 namaku segala.
Maksudmu opo kuwi PC, maxi what?? Lu pikir aku kayak penggorengan ngono po?
Lagian kok aku bisa mini sih, seko ngendi haha ;P
Ayooo, ditunggu postingan mu PC, khusus edisi pertemuan kita2
Please ya please..
ZeAL wrote:
@piz:
Ahhh.... ya, bener... dufan...
Pantesan... sekilas gue inget badut ancol tiap inget nama lo..
Dan gue tau, sekilas pasti lo inget brad pitt kejepit tiap inget gue..
HAH! Lo seharian keselek kenapa? Perasaan gue gak pernah ngasih makan lo biji salak.. Bisa diceritakan lebih detail?
@tiwi:
oww.. maxi itu merk penggorengan, tho..
Enggak kok.. maxi itu mewakili maksimum.. maximum in size and heart...
Kata mini biar pas aja dengan kata tiwi, tanpa menghilangkan koneksi dengan kata maxi...
Hmmm... edisi khusus ketemuan kita2..?? I'll have to think about it first..
Blom dapet bahan celaan yang pas soalnya... hehe...
teeweeq wrote:
HE?? tambah bingung aku ki..maximum-minimum-tiwi, hemm..pasti iki ngece yoo
Tapi aku tersandung tinggi juga tuh, secara aku kau sebut maximum in.. and heart hehehe, yakiin kah kamu mengatakan itu PC?? :P
Alaah, dengan bakat 'otak rusak'mu kuwi masak bikin celaan aja kok gak bisa,
Piye seeh
ndie ya wrote:
Hi lam kenal buat sama2 almnusnya petrol...
:-D.Btw warna backgroundnya ga bagus cz tulisan jd tdk terlihat
ZeAL wrote:
Salam kenal juga wahai alumnus petrol.. Semoga anda tetap berada di jalan yang benar..
Untuk warna backgroundnya, kemungkinan browser anda belum sempurna loadingnya.. Jadinya warnanya ijo, dan bukan coklat butek.. Silahkan refresh browser anda dengan menekan F5 atau Ctrl + F5..
ai wrote:
ha...ha..ha..
ko warna background'y
ijo.....................
kya ee kebo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
knapa ga kuning aza...
kan kaya ee kamu.......
hohoho................
sory bcanda.....
testinside 642-691 wrote:
Dan lagu ini diiringi oleh gerakan2 najis.. macam goyang2 pinggul.. tangan kedepan dengan jari ngatup-buka kayak lagi nowel-nowel.. Gerakan berputar macam balerina.. dan sejenisnya.. Otak gue terlalu rusak untuk bisa mengingatnya..
testinside 642-691 wrote:
Masa orientasi berlangsung selama 6 hari... Dan selama masa itu, gue harus mengumpulkan tanda tangan para pengurus osis dan para guru... Gue dikasih buku khusus untuk itu.. Desas-desusnya, bagi yang berhasil mengumpulkan seluruh tanda tangan tersebut akan diberi hadiah berupa seperangkat alat sholat.. Ya, agar kita bertobat dan Tuhan YME mengampuni dosa kami yang sudah melakukan tarian Kona Chicken...
testinside 642-691 wrote:
Nah, berhubung orang2 pada berlomba2, gue jadi gak enak juga.. Gue kan kudu mengikuti tren yang sedang berkembang saat itu.. Jangan sampe gue dibilang anak ketinggalan jaman.. Tapi gue terlalu males untuk minta2 tanda tangan gituh.. Sok penting banget! Emangnya mereka seleb.. So, akhirnya gue cuek aja gak ikutan ngumpulin tanda tangan...
testinside 117-201 wrote:
Dan disinilah, kelas 1 SMU.. Gue yang masih polos, tak bersalah, suci dan tak ternoda, terprovokasi untuk melakukan hal yang tak terpuji kecuali kepepet: MEMALSUKAN TANDA TANGAN! Yup.. otak gue yang cerdas, saat itu gue sudah mampu memalsukan tanda tangan..
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